Markies Manhattan Chummer Chowder

All right chummers, here is a recipe that lets you feed your closest chombas on the cheap. It’s as easy as making flash off an immie on Red. You’ll need yourself a big ass pot, a pile of seafood chum, and some veg. Feel free to use krill and soy substitutes if ya strapped for chyen.

Ingredients:

  • 1 pack of Seafood Chum* ( found in frozen foods aisle, contains shrimp, clams, mussels, squid tentacles, squid bits, and maybe some cuttlefish… I call it chum for a reason… )
  • 1 pack shrimp ( or krill )
  • 1 litre Chicken Broth
  • 700ml Motts Clamato*
  • 700ml Tomato Juice
  • 1 can diced tomatoes
  • 1 medium onion, diced
  • 3 cloves garlic, diced
  • 250ml frozen corn
  • 4-6 stalks celery, diced
  • 3 carrots, diced
  • 3 medium potatoes, diced ( 1-2cm cubes )
  • 1 tablespoon mustard seed
  • 1 tablespoon chili powder
  • 1 teaspoon paprika
  • 3 bay leaves
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons thyme
  • 1 tablespoon olive or canola oil
  • pepper to taste

* Note – if you do not have Motts Clamato Juice on hand you can use 450ml of Tomato Juice, 150ml water, a dash of worschester sauce, 50ml of clam juice, a pinch of celery salt, and two dashes tobascco sauce.

Directions:

  1. Saute mustard seeds in oil for 1-2 minutes.
  2. Add onion, and saute for 3-5 minutes until glossy and partly translucent.
  3. Add garlic, saute for 1 minute.
  4. Add chicken broth, Clamato, tomato juice, and diced tomatoes. Add bay leaves, corn, celery, carrots, chili powder, paprika, and thyme. Stir, add pepper to taste. Bring to a simmer, and simmer for 15 minutes.
  5. Add Seafood Chum and shrimp and let simmer for 10 minutes.
  6. Add diced potatoes, let simmer until potatoes are tender but not mush.

Serves 6-10 hungry joeboys and razorgirls.

beets beets the magical food…

So last night I was out of ideas for supper, and all that was left in the fridge were some beets and mushrooms. So I made a meal of warm oven roasted beat and beat greens salad with almonds and pecans, served with a mushroom and roasted garlic alfredo pasta. It sounds pretty fancy does it not? But the fancy does not stop at the dinner table, oh no.

This is a bit gross, but within 2 hours my… more fluid based bodily waste was the colour of butternut squash. It was like I was peeing Halloween. The real horror did not come until this morning, when I caught a glimpse of the more solid of my bodily wastes.

Ever spill some magenta printer ink?

Yeah.

That colour should not come from the human body. Apparently I can’t process the colours in beets very well. So beets are now the magical food, when you eat em you get purple poos.

bread, attempt number four

So I’ve taken to baking bread, and I think I’m getting close to a viable skill. I did my fourth batch yesterday and I’ve got the ratio of whole wheat, white flour, and various grain components down pretty solid. My bread is not as dense as a brick, and it has good loft and texture. It is still tasting a bit yeasty, but I don’t mind that so much.

The next phase is to perfect the moisture level in the bread. This batch came out a bit dry, I think I over baked the bread. Did not have a cooking thermometer to test the internal temperature of the bread, so had to guess using kebab skewers and tapping the bread in strange manners. If I can get it moister it will improve the texture a bit, and make it a lot better for sandwiches. I think this batch was dry due to over baking, and maybe the oats… oats suck up water.

I started baking bread because I made the mistake of reading the ingredients list on the bread we like, and failed to recognize 40% of the crap in mass made bread. That and it is costing $3.50 – $5.00 a loaf. FIVE BUCKS. That gets me enough ingredients to bake 10 loaves. So, because I’m getting old and cheap, and because I don’t want to eat poly-triglyceride 1,4,5, I now bake bread every now and then.