brand new game

game : n. : an object of attack, ridicule, or pursuit.
all right everyone, I have a new game for us all to play. it’s called ‘what the fuck are the spammers sending me today’. it is a simple game. you just have to read some of the more ‘interesting’ looking spam you get in your inbox, and then post it to a blog for everyone to enjoy. I figure since we can’t escape spam, we may as well make it a full fledge part of pop culture and abuse the living shit out of it.
example for today:

Subject: ALPRAZZ0LAM, TRAMAD0OL, \/ALUUM, \/llGRA, CAALlS, LEVlTRRA, XANA, MER1D||A, L0RAAZEPAM, AMBllEN bought turn affect along
Date: July 21, 2005 4:56:34 PM MDT
bought kept remained
need whatever talking
tomorrow disease object

now isn’t this a fantastic message? let’s critique it using the following criteria:
marketing effectiveness
clearly this is a highly effective advertisement! no link to a website even, but there is a reply-to email, so maybe if someone is really keen on buying ‘\/11GRA’ they will track it down. what is \/11GRA anyhow? can l33t be bastardized any further? I bet some h4x0r is rolling over in his/her cushy office chair now.
score: 3/10
okay, what is with the pseudo haiku? it is beautiful and all, but I am failing to see the connection to ‘\/11GRA’. (maybe \/11GRA is a deity of some sort?) honestly, is someone PAYING for this email advertising service, or is my inbox getting raped for shits and giggles…
score: 2/10
okay, so the slashes and the random numbers are pretty creative ways to get around filters, and look at those random consonants and vowels tossed in for good measure. I don’t think there is any way in hell that a spam filter will understand what the fuck this email is actually about… I’m not sure I do any more either.
and that haiku! beautiful! randomly generated or made by people out-sourced to the third world, I don’t care, it’s fucking amazing. props to who or whatever made it!
score: 9/10
total: 14/30
unfortunately, this spam fails. though just barely…
join me next time when I review another useless email sent to my inbox! thank you, and good night!
p.s. – I still hate packing.