The wonderful thing about life, actually totally distressing, is that we learn almost all of our patterns of behaviour by watching our parents and early teachers and by trying out the video clips that we memorize from watching them, when we meet like circumstances. We learn these behaviours, which are often totally fucked, before we become conscious of our own thinking (before 6-8 years of age). So, we are essentially programmed, and mostly we aren't even aware of our programming. Even when we are aware of it, most of us don't want to make the effort to change, or we are in denial of the need to change, even if all the data tells us that our behaviour is dysfunctional. Those few of us who try to alter, dare I say improve, our behaviour, quickly discover that altering patterns of behaviour is hard work, takes a long time, and, in moments of stress, often our behaviour reverts to the original programming. And yet, becoming aware of our unacceptable video clips, stopping play when we feel the clip launching, and being fully in the moment, so that no clip is needed or playable, is a life's work, painful, distressing, and, ultimately, humbling. On the other hand, I can use all the humility I can get.

Cause and effect or action and reaction?Chaos theory says that any action brings a chain of reactions, even a minimal one. But the reactions might get bigger or smaller by each chain link, making your brain liquify just about thinking it.That's why I think that a stroke is the result of his brains machinations on trying to get how the opposite sex's brain works and finally finding the solution. Unfortunally the stroke damage erases it all...